


The Moth Effect

by thatonechapterofwriting



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Completed, Multi, So much angst, beast!Quentin, but flexible lol, ending? what ending?, goddess!julia, idk how do shades work again, ive never red da boks btw, mostly on eliot's side of things, no alice hate but it might come off like that, or unpossessed, pining after a possessed lover, thankfully pre-written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-10-09 23:40:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17414765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatonechapterofwriting/pseuds/thatonechapterofwriting
Summary: If a moth flaps its wings faster than it usually would in a random borough in New York City, it could cause a hurricane in Fillory that otherwise, wouldn't exist.In this short AU/re-write, Eliot isn't the one who becomes a cold killing machine.





	1. Here Lies My Shade, He Barely Knew Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woot woot! Hip hip hooray for another pre-written fic! Not sure when I'll do the updates. Twice a week probably? I want to finish it before the fourth season comes out next week.
> 
> anyway here's a beast AU that no one asked for at 11PM on a sunday night

No one was quite sure how it even happened. A couple might have said they saw how it went down, but even their recollections were fuzzy. It was like saying you saw a bullet whizz by. You might have seen the blur, but you missed the detailed encasing of the actual killing machine.

The Library was unsuccessful in their pursuits to control magic. Alice was finally convinced of the truth. Everyone deserved magic. In a hurry to catch up with the rest of the group, Alice had left the Siphon discarded in a trashcan at Brakebills, hopefully never to be used again. Still, Alice desired a break from it all, scared of herself. She kept the Draught of Forgetfulness on her person. As they walked through Blackspire, she fumbled with the half-drunken potion in her coat pocket. She wasn't ready to go—to forget. Not yet.

It was funny. Everyone was so confident after Quentin's astral projection. The monster wasn't as big of a threat as everyone had thought. This was the thought that spiraled out of control, leading to a sense of security that was undeserved and went unnoticed until Kady handed Eliot the gun that doomed them all.

When the bullet raced by Quentin, the world seemed to go in slow motion. Quentin whipped around too slow, trying to stop Eliot from firing even after the bullet was gone. It made its impact and it killed. The body of the young man fell to the floor. Quentin and Eliot, neither really knowing what exactly the latter had released, could do nothing but push against each other in an effort to get the other away from the scene before anything else could happen. Eliot, being stronger, won in this endeavor, lifted Quentin from the ground, and carried him back to the Fountain Room.

"What are we waiting for?" Eliot yelled with a harsh tone unnatural in his voice. He let Quentin go to scramble toward the fountain, key in hand. He pulled his own key out and dropped it.

As the others slid their keys into the fountain's slots, Eliot fumbled with his until finally he managed to catch it between the tips of his fingers. Quentin gave him a look meant to signal haste and Eliot hurried toward him. Still nervous, the key was slipping from his grasp. Quentin grabbed Eliot's hand and pushed the key in with him. They managed finally to insert his key and get the fountain running again. It was like a breath of fresh air.

That was where the trouble started. Alice, fearing the worst of herself as she was newly equipped with magic, drank the rest of the draught. Her mistake was slinging the empty vial with such force that it shattered on the forehead of the knighted girl behind her. The girl fell to the ground, the force of the fall killing her. Alice stepped back and covered her mouth, frightened at what she had just done. She rushed to the girl despite yells for her not to. One last look of fear was given to the rest of the group before a swirl of gold overtook her.

She rose from a kneeling position. Her eyes gleamed gold, and magic surged up, down, and all around her hands. She examined them as if being new to the feat. The group held their hands in front of them in different gestures, ready to perform whatever magic they could. Quentin's begging for Alice to be unharmed went unheard. Eliot, well versed with having to kill someone he thought of as a friend, began the swift motion akin to the famed Avada Kedavra. Before he could finish, Quentin grabbed his hands and dragged him around in such a way so that they faced each other. Alice, or what was possessing her, cocked her head in interest.

Alice limply eased herself to the ground as a gold cloud rose from her body and flew into Eliot's. Quentin had to be pulled away by Kady. He numbly tried to break from her grasp. Eliot did the work for him, throwing Kady to the side with one motion. She landed against the fountain, propping herself up with it. Margo put her hands on Kady's shoulder, just as worried as she was. She tried desperately to call out to her best friend to no avail. As Eliot took Quentin's hand, she found herself running toward them in a desperate attempt to stop whatever was about to happen. She was frozen where she ran as was everyone except the confident Eliot and the anxious Quentin.

Eliot led Quentin out of the room and into the main hall, through the previously locked door. Disinterest led him to leave it unlocked. Now that he was alone with Quentin, he took both hands in his, an innocent smile on his lips.

"Can you show me that card trick again?" asked Eliot, or the monster possessing him, rather.

"Can you show me my friend again?" Quentin quipped back, unable to hold back his tongue. He recognized immediately that this thing had no semblance of Eliot within him. There was no point calling him by that name.

"You're more than that," the monster noticed. "At least, he _thinks_ you are. I can see it in _your_ eyes, too, that you're—"

Quentin broke his grasp from the monster. His eyes had dimmed since Eliot had killed the original holder of the monster. Maybe it would be best to do a magic trick to satisfy the monster until a solution presented itself. His mind worked quickly. He had a solution as soon as he fished the cards out of his back pocket. Closing his eyes, a smirk found its way on his lips. He spread out the cards and held them out.

"Pick a card. Any card. Don't tell me which it is," Quentin directed him. He felt a card loosened from his grip. "Okay. Put it back." The card was returned. With one hand shuffling the cards in telekinesis. When he heard footsteps, his smile turned into a grin. "King of Hearts?" he asked, eyes still closed.

The monster gave a slight chuckle. Already it was adopting a feature of Eliot's. Quentin grimaced briefly.

"How did you know?" the monster asked.

Quentin opened his eyes to see Penny-23 rushing toward the monster, likely to travel it back into the locked room. The others remained just outside the doorway.

"Trade secret," Quentin whispered as Penny-23 managed to teleport away with the monster. While one hand was working in telekinesis, the other hand had been working on a return-to-motion spell disguised as helping in sorting the cards.

Kady held the door shut with locking charms, keeping the strongest one in her knowledge base going with fluid hand motions. Margo leaned against the wall, distraught and pained over her loss. Josh ran to Quentin to discuss plans. The monster was said to be stronger than even The Beast. The Leo Blade was gone, the bullet was gone, and things looked dim. What option did they have?

"Well..." Josh grimaced. "There's one more option. Lose your shade."

Quentin widened his eyes. He looked around as if he had to make sure he wasn't the only one who had heard that. He clutched his chest defensively.

"Hear me out—just hear me out!" Josh held his hands out. "In Universe-23, you defeated the Beast by losing your shade. Everyone was dead at that point, so you didn't have a choice."

"No one's dead, Josh! I'm not losing my empathy to kill Eliot. What if I don't kill the monster and I kill him? What then?" Quentin yelled at the top of his lungs. He combed his hands through his messy hair, looking down and trying not to cry. His palms met his eyes as the waterworks started flowing.

Josh sighed and held Quentin's bobbing shoulders. "Hey, hey, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I mean, what if you just take it out for a second and maybe we could distract the monster. We could get that gold smoke to come out of Eliot and kill it then. Use the Rhinemann Ultra."

What other choice did they have?

Kady reluctantly removed the locks. Josh and Quentin re-entered the room. Penny-23 was nowhere to be seen. Alice still laid on the floor as did the knight. The monster sulked in a corner. He turned around with a dark look once he sensed Quentin's presence. Quentin, who had observed the process of taking and returning shade only once before, summoned everything in him to force his hand through his chest. His screams of agony didn't go unnoticed as Kady left her locking charms to kick the door open and rush to his side. Margo did the same, but became distracted by Eliot. In a last ditch attempt, she tried to make her platonic love for him known as she screamed above Quentin. The monster shouldered her aside, striding toward Quentin who was shaking and sobbing, loud moaning coming from him as he ripped everything he ever was from himself. A final scream left his lips as the pain ceased forever.

The shade firmly grasped in his hand, he glared at Alice's limp body and threw it into her. The monster saw an opportunity for a more powerful body and left Eliot, time elapsing for Margo to catch her best friend before he fell to the ground. As the gold cloud reached out for Quentin, it seemed all he had to do was scream for it to decay into nothing. There seemed to be a reverberation in the room as everyone was shaken by it. Those still conscious had to rise from the floor after getting swept off their feet from Quentin's power.

"Dude! It's official—you're the most powerful magician," Josh exclaimed. 

Quentin gazed at him with cold contempt.

"So, how are we going to get your shade back?" Josh chuckled nervously, now backing up.

With a flip of his hair and a disturbed silence unbefitting of him, Quentin exited the room. The three of the group who were still left standing could do nothing but watch as he walked out, and listen as the clacks of his shoes grew more and more distant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (and it was at that moment, Josh knew he fucked up)
> 
> yo penny's ok he's chillin w underworld penny if you got worried or anything
> 
> sorry he won't be in the rest of the fic :'( i'll make up for it sometime


	2. Don't You Forget About You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that sounds like a really bad song.
> 
> then again my favorite song is the rainbow road song
> 
> Also if anyone is OOC, please point it out!! I crave criticismmmm
> 
> And I changed my mind it’ll be every day an update or just whenever I feel like it/remember to ig lmao

_'Hey.'_

_'Wake up.'_

_'Hey!'_

_'Listen!'_

_'Alice!'_

_'Wake up, Alice!'_

Alice stirred. She found her glasses beside her bedside table and slipped them on.

Despite everything, she was still Alice.

Fan-folding her covers down, she swung her legs out of bed and let herself dangle as she worked to wake up. Thankfully, on her dresser, she had a coffee machine. She grabbed the pot from the machine. She took to the bathroom to get water. She came back, poured water in the machine, got the grain and filter papers from the top drawer. She poured the grain in the triple-padded filter, put the filter in the machine, turned it on, and waited. Alice arranged her hair with a brush on the dresser. When she finally made to look up into the mirror, she shrieked in horror, falling over the footrest below her bed and on her back.

"What the hell!" she screamed. Desperately, she looked around for the boy she saw in the mirror but to no avail. "What the fuck? Where are you?"

_'You can't see me because I'm not bonded to you like you were to me. I can't even see you, or myself, unless you look in the mirror.'_

Alice covered her face. A muffled curse left her lips before she could will herself to look in the mirror again. She rose up and took small steps back toward the dresser. She removed her hands through the strongest of wills and gasped sharply. She wasn't looking at herself, and there was no one around her. She was simply staring at Quentin.

Every hand motion she made, he made. Every expression she made, he made. Alice looked at her hands and her dress. On the outside, she was herself.

"Sorry about the scare," Quentin said aloud, using her lips as a mouthpiece. "I guess I couldn't let my shade go to the underworld. I need to reunite myself as soon as possible. Not that I could do anything without a shade. I'm probably just a limp shell. In fact, the monster probably already killed me." As his expression dimmed, Alice could feel herself frown.

Alice sighed. "Okay, let's trace these steps back. First off, what monster? Why did you remove your shade in the first place? And I distinctly remember taking a Draught of Forgetfulness. Why do I remember everything?" She giggled a bit, thinking it funny to hear her own voice come out of Quentin's mouth in the mirror. Her expression lightened without her input, meaning he found it silly as well.

"That last part is my fault. You rebooted yourself as some girl named Gabriella. It would be really hard to find myself with a muggle named Gabriella. I'd have to explain magic and magicians anyway. By that point you would have to deal with the harsh reality that you were Alice. I figured I might as well start early. There might be some early childhood things you won't be able to piece together since you never told me a whole lot about yourself." Quentin crossed her arms. "I heard that in another universe, I had taken my shade out to defeat The Beast. I thought I could handle the monster too."

"Do you think you killed it?" Alice asked, tone pretty much indifferent.

"I don't know. I don't know. I just—" Quentin looked away, and thus, Alice did as well. She felt her eyes water and her breath catch.

"Quentin," Alice said, voice trembling. "Let's just go see what's going on. I'm sure the others are okay, but we can't let them know about this. I'll let them know I have your shade. We'll keep it to that. Complications could be our pitfall."

She felt herself nod as she bit her lip.

Alice took her coffee, head low, but tears dripping down her face.

 _'Are you drinking it out of the pot?'_ Quentin thought.

 _'I'm sorry I don't hoard cups in my room, Quentin,'_ Alice replied.

Alice left her room, pot in hand, and descended the steps of the dormitories into the common room. Waiting there, Kady, Josh, and Todd had been deathly still until she had reached the bottom of the steps. Even though she felt they hated her, she couldn't help but smile when they stood and grinned at her. She was okay, and she was still Alice. Then, she thought, perhaps this was because she was partly Quentin, and that was the part they liked. Uncomfortable by the situation, she started to ascend the stairs, but was stopped by Josh tugging on her turtleneck’s sleeve.

"Alice! Is everything okay? Do you remember anything?" Josh asked, true worry in his voice. Out of everyone, she supposed she had harmed him the least.

"Yes. I'm fine," she said, slightly happy that he cared just about her.

"Alice, do you really have Quentin's shade?" Kady asked from the couch.

Biting her lip, Alice nodded. "Yeah. I think so. There's a bit of a magic surge for sure,” she lied with a titter. Really, she felt nothing at all concerning his magic. He wasn’t very strong in that regard.

"Whatever makes you a nicer person," Todd laughed harshly. He elbowed Kady who grimaced at the out-of-place joke. His expression turned innocent.

Alice walked back up the steps and back into her dorm. She drained her pot of coffee and put it back on the dresser, wiping her mouth with her sleeve. She paced the room a few steps back and forth. This was not okay. It was fine physically, but not emotionally. She wouldn't stand for everyone hating her. She wouldn't let them think she was the crazy one. Not again. This was why she wanted to forget.

She ran to her bed and buried her head in the pillow, screaming a muffled, "WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST LET ME FORGET?"

Clutching her pillow tightly on her chest, she rolled over and sobbed.

"Please stop crying," Quentin begged her.

 _'Damnit, you don't get it, Quentin! Everyone loves you,'_ she thought.

_'That's not true. I think Penny hates me.'_

_'You know that's not true!'_

_'Well, I know you need to cry things out, but I have to see my friends. I have to know what happened.'_

_'How? You can't use my voice,'_ Alice reminded him.

_'I'll think of something.'_

Possessed completely by Quentin, Alice put the pillow down and swung herself out of bed. She went to the bathroom to clean her face up and exited the dormitories entirely. She walked downstairs again. The composition of the room hadn't changed, but Kady was now talking to Josh with Todd trying to listen in. Alice found herself listening in as well.

"If we could just find a way to take Quentin's shade out of her and store it until we found him, then we could probably lessen her magical abilities. If she goes psycho on us again, can we stop her when she has the power of two magicians in her?" Kady said all in a hushed tone.

"I feel disgusting for telling him about Universe 23. I shouldn't have. I really shouldn't have." Josh crossed his arms and looked away from Kady.

"We killed the monster. We completed step one. We just need to complete step two," Kady assured him, rubbing his shoulder. "But if shit really does hit the fan, you will get all the blame. You okay with that?"

Josh nearly said something, but closed his mouth and nodded, solemnly accepting this fate.

Alice left the common room to go outside. She wandered around the park area until she came across a bench under a large sequoia. There, she found Margo consoling and locking arms with a very distraught and distant Eliot. His eyes were vacant, but he was himself at least.

Margo rested her head on his shoulder. "We'll find a new high-strung nerdy boy toy someday. Quentin might be lost but—"

"Quentin..." Eliot mused. This was the wrong name to mention to Eliot, it seemed. He tilted his head back, pain was painted all over his face from the way he slightly frowned to the way his eyes clenched shut.

Alice couldn't keep it in any longer. She stomped her foot and bit her lip hard in an attempt to hide it, but Quentin got through her defenses, yelling, _"Eliot!"_ in his own overjoyed voice. Alice covered her mouth and ran away from the park. She looked back to see Eliot staring after her. This wasn't something she was prepared to deal with later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and so alice faces a reversal of season two. the shoe is on the other foot, it seems.
> 
>  
> 
> also i am so sorry for that undertale reference. i Amn just........... a litle weebe. Thatse It . I Canot change this


	3. Mirror Mirror on the Dresser, Who's Going to be the Next Confessor?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> get ready for an in-depth four paragraphs about queliot
> 
> also like, will I ever not make a fic that’s not rated T?? I’m,, honestly like prolly not :0 bc I worry too much. Losers was definitely not like overly sexual/violent(like,, until the end where one character dies and one almost dies in a real bad way), and the others I never got to finish.
> 
> I’m still debating whether I should tag violence w this one bc I don’t describe anything gorey lmao but there is some pretty minor violence. I will say that’s chapters 1, 3(you’re here), 5,7.

There was no point. Eliot had convinced himself that there was absolutely no point in what he was about to do. His body almost moved on its own as if his possessor remained just to pull the strings. His mind was entirely his own though, and he knew it was emotion and logic's consummation that convinced him to trudge up the stairs. He laid against the doorway, eyes and fists clenched tightly. Could he manage to embarrass himself more by going through with this?

Eliot knocked on the door limply. He felt colder than before, and before, watching everyone smile as he came to, he felt frigid. He loved Margo, really he did. She was his best friend, and he was beyond ecstatic to see her alive and happy. But after finding out Quentin wouldn't be there to celebrate the victory, all the life seemed like it was sucked right out of Eliot.

The door creaked open. Eliot's heart jumped ever so slightly at the sight of Alice, but not entirely because she was Alice. His lips cracked into a smile. He didn't want to seem too out of character.

"Hey," he said quietly. Already, he messed up. It wasn't removed enough for his usual tastes.

"What do you need?" Alice snapped, aggravated and twitchy.

Eliot raised a brow. He would've been frightened if this wasn't natural for her. He didn't feel the need to bother her with asking if she was okay. He knew she wasn't. What was the point in inquiring about her latest bug? Perhaps he would indirectly. He needed to get on with it.

Truth be told, he was going a little crazy himself, but he wasn't going to let on about that. After a sleepless night and a wine-filled day, Margo took Eliot for a walk through the parks of the once again bristling and euphoric Brakebills. It didn't help much, noticing all the couples who were newly reunited and astounded by their magics. No one was aware of the loss that accompanied it, but it didn't make sense for them to care. Eliot felt bad for brushing off Margo's attempts to cheer him up, but it wasn't like she could just bring Quentin back. He told her as much and felt sick for it afterward. But he couldn't lock himself in his room forever. The wards had to come down.

When Margo had taken Eliot to the park bench to console him, he thought he heard a familiar voice shout his name. For a moment his mind had cleared and his eyes brightened. Margo blinked in surprise, probably hearing it too. When Eliot stood—too slowly for his own good—and turned in the direction of the voice, he saw the split second action of Alice slapping a hand on her mouth and stumbling over her feet to get away. Though it seemed toxic, Eliot held onto the fact that Quentin was there in spirit. But to find out where and why, he might have to go to Alice. This was extremely unappealing.

Not only was Alice the certified nut job of the group, she was also Quentin's on and off again ex-girlfriend. Eliot twitched when Margo occasionally brought it up, but Eliot could never forgive himself for the threesome that ended Quentin's relationship with Alice. Eliot knew how much Quentin loved Alice. It was terrible of him to give in to a lust that had formed the moment he laid eyes on Quentin. The threesome was a byproduct of his deepest emotions after all. He kept himself away from Quentin as much as he could after that moment, but the boy kept drawing him right back in. Never enough to let him go back down on him like that, but just enough to let the lust turn into love. Unfortunately, Eliot could never convince himself that his lust-to-love could ever compete with Quentin and Alice's clear true love, and thus, kept his love of Quentin a secret, and avoided Alice as much as possible. Now this was completely impossible.

And it always seemed like someone was standing in Quentin's shadow, awaiting Eliot's hand. It was Quentin he wanted to marry, not Fen, and not even Idri, though he truly loved the both of them. Fen was an adorkably innocent and beautiful girl and the nicest wife he could ever wish for, but the thought of taking her to bed disgusted him. Idri was complicated because he gave him the advice he needed as a kid, yet on the off-chance both of them were available, the bed was their meetup.  Quentin was the perfect blend of a nice person to fall head over heels in love and just the right person to sleep with. The lifetime with Quentin was his everything. He wouldn't— _couldn't_ —forget the night Quentin finally reciprocated his feelings. It was the life he wanted—the life he lived and then had to reverse after his death. It was fulfilled, but Eliot had a nagging feeling that it was all fake and fabricated compared to the real world of the present Earth. He wanted that life for real. And even if it wasn't fake, there was still Arielle who often inserted herself between Quentin and Eliot though she was married to both of them. He wanted to push through all these people in Quentin's shadow and take him for himself. Was it so selfish?

"Alice..." Eliot allowed his voice to trail off. He rubbed the doorway, eyes forlornly fixed on his fingertips. "I heard Quentin earlier." His eyes newly locked on her frightful ones.

She slammed the door shut. Eliot furrowed his brow. Oh that was it. She knew exactly what was going on. Eliot waded through the mixed bag of being happy that the endeavor wasn't fruitless and being beyond enraged that she was keeping everyone apart from him. This, Eliot decided, was selfish.

Now justified and done with knocking, Eliot used a menagerie of motion to unlock the door. He could feel Alice's locks faltering as she tried to put up wards and failed due to something holding her back. This wasn't like her. She was the Hermione Granger of the group. Something—or someone, as Eliot suspected—was fighting against her. Finally able to overcome her, Eliot pushed the door off its hinges and into the wall, cracking it. Horrified with his power, he stood there stunned.

Eliot stood too long though, because Alice threw him into the wall behind him. He pushed himself up from the rubble with a slight groan. She was stronger than he first thought. He had just assumed people were building her up to be a bigger threat than she actually was. Turns out they were right. Hopefully no one would see him taking this beating from her. He dusted himself off. He couldn't be seen like this.

Walking into the room as if unfazed(a hard feat due to everything hurting at the moment), Eliot watched as Alice covered up her mirror with a blanket and then spun around to look at him, fear in her shaking eyes. She started crying for no reason.

"What's going on? I just want answers, Alice," Eliot said calmly, waving his hands in a downward motion. "I don't want to hurt you. I don't think you're crazy," he said, the second statement being a complete and total lie. She caught it.

"That's not true! You're jealous of me! You always have been!" Alice backed up into the door and jumped as if she had been shot. She stared a hole through Eliot, eyes fixed with paranoia. "Well guess what? You can have him! I don't want him anymore!"

"Where is he? What are you talking about?" Eliot hesitantly asked, scared now because her madman ramblings had just become eerie.

Alice forced her hand deep into her chest. Eliot cringed in pain, clutching his own chest. He closed his eyes, unable to watch as she reached deep inside herself for something he wasn't even privy to. She screamed like she was being burned alive. Mixed in with her screams were the screams of someone with a deeper voice—someone familiar.

"Quentin?" Eliot called out desperately. His eyes sparkled for the first time in a while. He rushed to her, pulled her hand away from her inner being, and without meaning to, threw it back against the door behind her. “Please! Don't hurt him like this! I—" Eliot faltered as he realized he had pinned Alice against the wall, nails digging into her wrists. Her eyes were even more scared than before, this time, we’ll justified. Sometimes it was hard for him to remember just how tall and overbearing he was for as much as he floated around. But he heard Quentin, and he heard Quentin's pain.

He let her go, and Alice stumbled sideways onto her footrest. Eliot leaned against her dresser. He didn't know what to do with his hands now and locked them away in his pockets. He couldn't believe he let himself do that to her.

"What's going on? Please, I don't know..." Eliot broke down. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hands. His eyes hadn't even began to water, but he had to prepare himself. No one ever saw him cry and they weren't going to. 

"Remove the blanket from the mirror," Alice gave a measured reply.

Confused as he was, Eliot complied. His fingers touched the blanket, and he paused there, holding his breath. There was no telling what he would see beneath it. In one swift motion, he dragged the blanket from the dresser's mirror and bristled when he saw the man behind him. He whipped around on Alice, frightened at the meaning of this. He leaned back again on the dresser. He didn't like the idea of his friend being trapped in the body of the most insane girl on the planet. Saying she was psychotic would have been an insult to the Fairy Queen who was psychotic, but nowhere near supplying the level of endangerment that Alice gave them.

He felt like he was burning up. Yes, this had to just be a fever dream. This couldn't have been real. He felt sick to think Alice and Quentin could ever be one in the same. He wished he never asked. He would've been fine never knowing Quentin's fate rather than know he shared a body with a nutter.

But he just had to ask. He had to know. "How?"

"Well, Quentin—"

"No!" Eliot burst out, holding a hand out to signal for her to stop speaking. He let his hand hang in the air as he seethed. “No, you do not get to speak for him!" Eliot deeply inhaled, combed a hand through his mess of black curls, and exhaled. He closed his eyes and composed himself. "Speak, please, Q. What is going on?"

"Eliot, you can't blame yourself. Promise me you won't," Quentin's voice came from Alice's lips. When Eliot nodded, Quentin continued to summarize everything that had happened up to that point, including seeing him in the park and coming back to Alice's room to devise a plan to find his shadeless body. "I can't leave Alice. It's not a thing—it's just that I don't want to stop existing. I don't like the idea of being trapped in a jar like a fairy in Zelda. That's what Kady's planning, and I think I prefer this."

Eliot couldn't help but ask, "Would you prefer me?" He was only going to hurt himself with the answer. He wished he knew himself what he was referring to, but he wasn't entirely sure if it was truly a surface level question of not. The answer was probably no either way.

"No." _Of_ _course_. "I'm sorry. Alice might be a little crazy— _HEY_ —but she's got a pretty good knowledge base. Not to insult your intelligence, El'. I know you're pretty smart too. She's just—"

"Better than me in every way," Eliot said, inwardly cursing himself for letting himself go on like that. He looked back into the mirror. He wanted to see Quentin more than Alice right now. He couldn't stand the fact that she along with Quentin were watching him fall apart at the seams. He hadn't broken yet. He wasn't crying yet.

"No," Quentin's voice wavered. His eyes looked so hurt. Eliot felt his breath catch as he noticed Quentin's mannerisms on full display. His eyes were the most expressive part of him. It was so hard to watch it in Alice who had always been so stiff and stoic. "No, Eliot. I appreciate you. I want you to have your freedom." The way his eyebrows bounced at the mention of _freedom_ moved Eliot to remember how much Quentin really did consider the feelings of others in his actions more than the logic. 

Still, it had no effect on the feeling of unworthiness that Eliot felt, considering the fact that Quentin remained tied to Alice and would probably remain tied to her for a while unless his shadeless self was found soon. Eliot combed another hand through his hair and exhaled, choosing not to respond. He wasn’t going to be an asshole tonight, and he was feeling nothing short of honest now face to face and alone with both his flaming crush and his flaming crush’s ex who was more trouble than she was worth. 

Alice—no, Quentin—moved toward him and pulled him into an embrace. Eliot wanted desperately to return it, but couldn't overcome the repulsive image he held Alice with. He couldn't bear wrapping his arms around her. He kept them to his side and stared emptily at Quentin Coldwater in the mirror. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tfw you get cockblocked by your crush's ex-girlfriend who's your crush's vessel
> 
> Originally I was going to have Alice go through with transferring the shade but it complicated a lot of things :0


	4. The Mothman Cometh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> damn finally its julia
> 
> and mothman yeah thats cool too
> 
> but julia

_"3!"_

_"2!"_

_"1!'_

The crowd of gods and goddesses screamed and chanted for Julia as she cut the red ribbon on her new world. Her first of hopefully many. It was no Fillory, but it was a beautiful creation all of her own. There were no buildings or creations which could be made by mortal hands. There was no tract of land untouched by towering trees and sunbeams shining right through them. She had become the Lady of the Trees and would soon adopt a condensed version of the name in Greek as she ascended to full godhood. Julia couldn't help but smile as the crowd surrounded her and the centerpiece of the world—a piece of bricked in dirt which held a single seed of a self-designed tree which would grow slowly until the end of time. This was beyond her wildest dreams.

Aphrodite took Julia's hands and spun her around. "I can't believe it, girl! It looks so good for a first world! You should've seen mine! I had unicorns and hot boys everywhere. It was so stupid! Just a little girl's dream, you know. But, that's what happens when you're born with it, I guess!" she giggled.

Iris put an arm around Julia's shoulders while Aphrodite was still attached. "So, Kyrden, huh? I gotta say, I like the sound of that. If you wanted to keep your real name, I'm sure it'd be fine," she said, massaging her shoulders.

"Yeah, I know, but I've always wanted to rebrand myself since... well, anyway. This is all so great," Julia said, unable to stop smiling. "I just wish my friends could see it."

"Oh, did Iris tell you that whole spiel about separating yourself from them?" Aphrodite gasped loudly and exaggeratedly at Iris. "For shame, girl! Jules, you can have everything you want. Up to and including any mortal." She winked. "Someone has to fill your world! You can make things, but sometimes you want someone to rule the world and honey, with the schedule you're gonna have with all the Holy Breakfasts, and Holy Brunches, and Holy Lunches, and—"

Iris rolled her eyes, causing Aphrodite to stop. Iris smiled pleasantly at Julia. "Point is, bring your friends into this. They'll be so excited, and we know it'll make you happy. So do you."

Julia nodded. "Thanks guys. I think I will." She broke from their grasps and began to teleport before Aphrodite stopped her.

"Wait! Bring them here yourself! You have that power now! Try it!" Aphrodite encouraged her.

Julia's smile widened. Now more confident than ever, she summoned all her power to—wait. No. No no no no... no he couldn't be gone! Where was he where is he where is he

"Jules?" Aphrodite suddenly grabbed Julia's shoulders. "Julia, calm down girl! What's going on?"

Julia looked around desperately, continuously stepping back to the point where she finally broke from Aphrodite's grasp and stumbled over her seedling centerpiece. The gods surrounding her became worried, rushing to her side. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't think. She couldn't find him.

"Please! Someone find him! I can't find him!" Julia cried out, covering her eyes.

Persephone put a calming hand on Julia's shoulder. "Honey, who? Who are you looking for?"

"Quentin! He's not anywhere in the universe! I can't find him!" Julia informed her. "He's dead! He must be! But I can't find him in the underworld! I should've listened when he called out for me," Julia cried quietly.

Iris shuffled away into the crowd to hide herself, knowing she had convinced Julia to stay in her world. Aphrodite pushed past all the gods to kneel beside Julia.

"Sometimes, when you're as weak as you are as a god, you can't find people who are dead. That takes practice," Persephone told Julia. "Hades?" she called for her husband. "Can you see him?"

Hades pushed through the crowd. He crouched beside Persephone and Julia. "I can't," he whispered with a large sense of worry. "He's not dead, but I can't see him."

"What does that mean?" Julia sobbed.

"He doesn't want to be seen by anyone, not even the gods. Something terrible has happened. He's hiding for a reason," Hades said darkly.

"Jules, go home and find him. You can't run a world with so much worry. I'll take over for you," Aphrodite said. "I'll send you to the person you trust most."

"But that's Quentin!" Julia argued.

"OK... so the runner-up..." Aphrodite twirled a finger through her hair. "I'm afraid it's someone you don't want to admit you trust."

Julia furrowed her brow. She could only hope for the best as she closed her eyes, and golden light overtook her, sending her away from her world. She didn't even get to name it. It was an empty world and would be empty until she found Quentin, her best friend. But who could she trust more than Quentin? Who could she trust more than her best friend?

She got her answer once she heard a girlish shriek. Julia stood straight up, staring at the girl across from her. She nearly stumbled into the television to her right, and after such, looked around the room to see that this was in fact, a hotel room. The girl who screamed was sitting on a couch with a remote in her hands, hair in a bun, and clothes solely being a tank top and underwear. It was Marina.

Julia sidled over to the table in the small kitchenette and pulled out a seat. The last time she had seen Marina in her universe was after—well. And the new Marina simply escaped into the new universe with none of the history that Julia's Marina had. Marina-23 could feel the tension they had. Did she really crack her with one look? Did people who trust each other with their lives know everything about one another with a look? Right now, all Julia knew was that Marina was scared yet slightly intrigued as anyone would be if a newly ordained goddess just teleported into your hotel room. Where even was this?

"Julia, as much as I would love to have you in my hotel room on any given day, it's just a little odd for you to drop in at this time of night!" Marina exclaimed, anxiety strong in her voice. She placed her remote down and walked toward her. "Why are you here?"

"Aphrodite sent me.”

Marina gaped, a sarcastic smile plastered on her lips. "Wow, that really clears things up!"

"I was making a new world. The gods were celebrating and I realized I wanted my best friend there but I can't—I can't find him, Marina," Julia croaked. She buried her face in her hands.

Marina pouted sincerely. "Hey, I'm sure Quenman—"

"Quentin."

"—Quen-dude is fine. He's not dead is he?" Marina raised a concerned brow.

"He's hiding from everyone—even the gods. And hey, where are you, anyway?" Julia looked around restlessly for some evidence of the answer.

"Oh. Just outside Brakebills. Apparently I got booted out in this universe so I'm camping out until I can break in," Marina explained. She smiled, realizing she could tell Julia about her new life story. She loved to talk about herself with someone she could trust, Julia knew. "You know, I'm working a job at Little Caesar's now. It's not the best pizza place in New York City, but they give me free pizza after closing so it's not bad. I'm taking Pilates classes and some karate. I'm trying to be a better me. I guess I've become something of a hedge witch, but I'm starting to think I might be better than Brakebills."

"Yeah, that happens," Julia mused. She couldn't find it in herself to be happy for Marina at the moment. Quentin was so thoroughly at the forefront of her mind.

"Yeah!" Marina wholeheartedly agreed. Her smile dissipated when she took full notice of Julia's grim expression and the way she held herself, reclused and shut off. Marina put a reassuring hand on Julia's shoulder. "Hey, I'll help you find the Q-guy. Don't worry. But right now? It's four in the morning. I don't know if you need sleep, but I do."

Julia side-eyed the couch. "I think I'll wander around town for a bit. I don't need sleep but I'll take the couch later."

Marina threw her head back and scoffed loudly, offended. "No! Take the bed, I insist! You're a goddess, Julia!"

"I don't want you to sleep on the couch, Marina," Julia explained her reasoning.

"Who said I was sleeping on the couch?" Marina squinted when she noticed Julia's blush. "Hey, don't take that to mean anything. It's just that it's a queen size, and I don't care to share with people I like—that I find okay—compared to most people—who are trash."

Julia smiled warmly and grazed Marina's hand with her fingers, flustering the girl even more. "It's okay. I appreciate it."

Marina quickly took her hand back. "Well! It's nothing! I'd do the same for Josh or anybody!" she excused herself.

* * *

 

The bustling city of New York City was somewhat still comparatively in Midtown tonight. Four in the morning was an odd time to be out, granted, but there was something off about everything. Julia felt a cold shiver everywhere she went. The air tasted like metal. She answered some prayers here and there, but nothing seemed to help her sinking feeling. Her feet carried her nowhere in particular. She was capable of handling any threat no matter where she went. It would be okay, she figured.

It didn't help that she was starting to feel Quentin's presence. Anytime she felt magical, she always thought of Quentin. She was feeling pretty light and magical at the moment. It reminded her of her time with Quentin. He almost always made her feel like she was on top of the world. What she wouldn't give to have that every day. But she knew deep down that even if she did ask him to come to the New World with her, he would decline. He had new friends now. They had duties to their worlds too. Penny had the Underworld Library, Eliot and Margo had Fillory, and Josh, Kady, and Alice  had Brakebills. Julia supposed now that she had gotten a taste of what it was like to be a part of Quentin's life again, she didn't want to give it back up.

No one fit her more perfectly than Quentin. He was the Fillory to her Jane Chatwin. He was her first crush and her first kiss. That was what happened when two kids only had each other for friends. Of course she had gotten over that on the surface, but she never really did get past things like that. They had been dumb teenagers, but Julia still carried those feelings around like a token of their friendship. It didn't get in the way of anything, and she really didn't want to date, marry, or do anything more than platonic with him. It was just something worth mentioning—something she thought about every so often and giggled about. She wondered if Quentin ever did the same.

Julia could remember every trivial fact about Quentin. Things no one knew, or should know. One of her favorites was that he waited in line at their block's bookstore for twelve hours to get the next Fillory book. She waited alongside him. The funny part was that they were dressed up like Martin and Jane. It was so curious now to have met them and look back on things like that. The best memory she had was finding out they had magic. True, real magic. Sure, it hurt to realize she couldn't go to Brakebills with him, but the moments leading up to that were some of the best of her life.

She had good ones afterward too. Going on the quest for keys was some of the most fun she had ever had. Oh, and their dance. That stupid dance...

Julia put her hands in front of her, doing a semi-jazz hands while strutting forward. She did a spin and laughed at herself. She couldn't help but do it once it was in her mind.

"You've got moves."

Julia spun around on her heel. A man with his head low and hands in his pocket was standing mere feet from her in a dark alleyway. The man looked up, and his eyes glowed a strange blue and gold which seemed to fight against each other in his irises. Julia almost ignored this for the fact that the man was Quentin. Keyword: almost.

"Q! What are you doing here? Why are you hiding from everyone?" Julia begged for information. "I wanted you to come to the unveiling of my new world. You would've loved it."

Quentin looked to the side. "You don't want to know. If I told you, you’d do everything in your power to stop me."

"Q, I just want to help," Julia said measuredly, stepping forward with her hands out.

"How did you do this so long?" Quentin looked up at her, befuddlement in his eyes. "How did you go so long without your shade and not want to just..." He held a hand in the air, entranced with its surge of electricity. "... just show off your power. You could've done so much."

Julia froze where she stood. "Quentin, no," was all she could manage. It wasn't just emotion holding her back. He had really frozen her where she stood. Only a god could hold that amount of power.

"I've been seeking out the most powerful magicians around the world. Did you know that life sometimes gives a substantial and quite unfair amount of power to only one magician? Seems the endless stupidity of my shade has kept me from unlocking my potential this whole time." Quentin smiled darkly. A moth landed on his hand. "You know, Martin was right. Power is _so_ nice. Once the Wellspring was cleared, it was quite a delightful drink. Better than ambrosia. Good to note that the bumbling idiot isn't around anymore." A couple more moths landed on his hand. One perched on his nose. "Can't believe my shaded self had the balls to murder that oaf."

"Quentin, this _isn't_ you," Julia said through clenched teeth.

"Jules, relax," Quentin sighed with a cock of his head. A whole flock of moths surrounded him. "I'm not gonna kill you. I have a list. I'm not that insane. I'm just going to start over in Fillory. A fresh start. I'm _just_ doing what _you_ were doing. Ruling a world with a queen by my side."

"'Queen'?” Julia rolled her eyes. “Marina is hardly— You're not—"

"You know that I can't go with you to the New World. I have too much of an attachment to Fillory. I can admit my weakness to my best friend.” Quentin pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing exasperatedly. “But Julia, you know Marina... that's a whole other can of worms that we don’t have time for. Point is, I’m taking over Fillory—finding a queen can wait—“ Quentin rolled his eyes back at Julia, dropping his hand to his side. “I can’t believe you chose to focus on that, honestly. Are you that in love—“

"Quentin, I don't care about this!" Julia interjected. "I care about _you_! I care about this world and about Fillory! I will not allow you to start over! You will never become a god by acting like this!"

 _"I ALREADY AM A GOD!"_ Quentin bellowed, eyes gleaming a dangerous gold. The earth shook beneath them. "I killed _THE_ Monster! The Monster that Prometheus and Calypso couldn't keep reigned in with just a simple prison! I killed him with _just_ my _voice!"_ Quentin roared. He paused to lick his lips. "Imagine the Rhinemann Ultra coming from me."

"Quentin, you may have killed The Monster, but you've become The Monster. You've become worse than The Monster. Please, Q..." Julia felt herself ready to cry. "I don't want your name in the same book as Scylla and Charybdis. This isn't you. This isn't my best friend."

"Yes it _is,"_ Quentin said darkly. It sent a shiver down Julia's spine how easily he said it and with a tone that oozed truth. "You just don't want to admit that this was always underneath him."

Moths began to swarm around his face and body. When they dispersed, he was gone.

Julia regained her ability to move. She chose her next move carefully. She teleported back into Marina's hotel room. The girl just so happened to be right next to her with a piece of pizza in her hand.

"Damn it, Julia!" Marina fumbled with the pizza, trying to hang onto it. "What happened?"

Julia rushed to the couch, afraid of falling if she stood too long. She laid on it and buried her head in the cushions. Marina sat down in front of her legs, noisily eating her piece of pizza.

"Hey, sorry about that. I'm pretty bitchy at five in the morning. You need some pizza?" Marina held out her already half-eaten piece.

"No," Julia said, muffled. She rolled over so that she could see Marina, and so that Marina could see her disheveled appearance. 

Marina tilted her head.

"Yes," Julia reluctantly changed her mind.

Marina smiled cheekily and got up to bring the pizza box out of the refrigerator and down onto the coffee table.

"We can talk about it in the morning. Eat some pizza, clear the nerves," Marina said, smiling down at Julia who picked up a piece. "This place gets _HBO_ ," she said off-handedly.

Julia smiled easily at Marina. "Sounds great.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mothman
> 
> you’re a man and a moth
> 
> I said mothman
> 
> You’re a man whose a moth
> 
> I said mothman
> 
> Your pretty wings are so soft when you 
> 
> FLAP AGAINST MY N IGhtshade
> 
> mothman 
> 
> there’s no need to feel down 
> 
> I said mothman
> 
> lift that man off the ground 
> 
> I said Mothman
> 
> swing your new friend a round
> 
> cause it’s fun to swing a humAn
> 
> bumbumbumbumbum
> 
> (credit to og tumblrs)
> 
>  
> 
> so yeah ,,I’m taking this seriously ,,sure yeah.


	5. Fillory Friday’s

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do I know what I’m doing? no :) absolutely not :) have no idea :) wrote all of this in one day :)

Eliot moaned himself awake. He leaned upward, rubbing his eyes. He smiled at himself, happy he was able to get at least a semblance of a rest in. He even dreamt. Of course he dreamt a rather incriminating dream about Quentin with a glass of champagne, a new year, a new start, and a new dick to go down on him last time he checked. He hadn't gotten one of those dreams in a while.

Immediately, he checked his phone. It was Monday which he was starting to take as his off-day from Fillory. Well, every day except Friday would become his off-day. He'd start having Fillory Friday's. Unfortunately, the text on his screen disagreed.

 **Fen💍👑**  
Come to Fillory post haste! 😰😰😰😱😱😱🍑🔪

What in the fuck did that mean? Peach being cut? Was she being taken? Or was Eliot thinking too dirtily? Did he need to get his mind out of the gutter? Everything else conveyed danger, sure, but the peach and the knife really caught him off-guard. Nevertheless, he would make for Fillory as soon as possible.

After tousling his hair to max stylized mess and putting on his best vest, Eliot found his crown and made his way into the common room. It was pretty much empty, filled with people he didn't really care about. He figured it might be nice to say goodbye to Quentin or inform him of what just happened, but this was important. He'd send a bunny later.

"Bambi!" Eliot called out for Margo. When she didn't answer, he slipped through the grandfather clock by himself.

There was nothing to brace him for what he came into. He had come through a villager's door just outside the castle. The whole town was burning bright in the night.  Red flames licked at Whitespire, invading its every crevice. Townspeople were fleeing by the dozen, but most were killed by platinum-armored knights striding through. Eliot rushes toward his castle, fearful that he could be next. He brushed up against worried mothers trying to save their children and laymen just trying to survive. He thought about stealing a horse for himself, but didn't want to risk the safety of his people. He helped some along the way from burning houses that had collapsed and the occasional knight that was an easy target.

Post haste was hard to manage, but due to the adrenaline running through his veins, Eliot managed to jump the distance of the bridge that was slowly closing up. He ran through the gardens, past the large fountain, a replica of the one in Blackspire. He rushed through the main halls, fighting any knight in his way. A scream made him stop. He recognized it.

"Fen!" Eliot called out. He was coming for her, and he had to let her know.

He kicked down the door to their bedroom. A knight was ready to plunge his sword into Fen who laid, disarmed, on their bed. Eliot snapped the knight's neck. He rushed to Fen's side and hugged her tightly. So unusual for him, he kissed her on the forehead, keeping his lips there for a moment. They touched noses, just trying to get a breath in.

"What happened?" Eliot asked with a voice entrenched with worry for his wife.

"I tried to tell you! I texted you!" Fen exclaimed.

"Peach with a knife?" Eliot laughed nervously.

"You call Quentin your peach! You're his plum, aren't you? El, your peach came to Fillory with these knights! They're not even real people! He's so powerful that he can just create them now!" Fen explained, horrified by everything that she said.

"My peach is setting fire to my castle?" Eliot's voice cracked. He broke his grasp on Fen's right cheek to turn in the direction of the throne room, eyes wavering with worry.

He shouldered through the door and rushed to the throne room, picking up a discarded sword as he went. Eliot braced himself for what he was about to find. The throne room was a bloodier mess than anything he had seen yet. The bodies of Tick and the other aides to the throne.

"Even the sloth," Eliot said aloud to himself.

Legs crossed on the arm of the throne and knuckles pressed against his cheek, King Quentin smirked at Eliot. For the first time ever, this didn't turn Eliot on. Or did it? It was hard to tell because he was completely scared out of his wits.

"I like this throne, I gotta say." Quentin's voice now boomed. Eliot preferred his mousy version, but it was a good sound for him.

Eliot took a step forward. Quentin didn't seem like he wanted to kill Eliot. At least, not immediately. Eliot could sense Quentin subtly flinch and brace himself when Eliot stepped closer. Eliot stopped.

"Did you do this?" Eliot demanded to know, matching Quentin in volume.

"Yes," Quentin answered quickly and with a smaller voice.

"Why?" Eliot asked just as fast.

Quentin's eyelids lowered. His smirk was gone. He wasn't here to play. "They annoyed me. This whole Fillory thing?" Quentin cleared his throat and looked away from Eliot, admiring all the gore. "Yeah, you can kiss it goodbye. I don't like the way you run things around here. We have to start all over on this.” He motioned to the room. “Bring it back to the good ol’ days.” His face grew ever smugger.

Quentin swung his legs onto the floor. Eliot stepped back. He wasn't entirely fond of this newly arrogant Quentin. Eliot readjusted his one-handed grip on the large sword in his hand. Quentin strode over to Margo's throne. He sat down slowly, taking in the feeling of power that it gave him. He bit his lip in pleasure, adjusting himself in the seat. He crossed his legs and clasped his hands over his knee.

"That's Margo's," Eliot said under his breath.

Quentin stood ramrod straight, staring Eliot down with a look of betrayal and fury. “You gave the throne to her? Before me? The rightful heir and ruler of  Fillory!?" he bellowed.

"You're a king!" Eliot roared, pointing his sword at Quentin. "Act like it! Margo deserves the throne more than you or I! No king lays waste to his land!" What was he even saying? He didn't know how to be a king. He was almost disposed of by his people. But damn if he didn't feel cool and righteous saying it.

Quentin shook his head. He glowered at Eliot with furious golden eyes. "I've entertained you long enough! You're nothing but a _COWARDLY FARM BOY!"_

Eliot crinkled his nose in absolute disgust. This thing was no longer Quentin—not in any shape or form. He held his sword behind his head and ran at him. Quentin began the hand movements for the Rhinemann Ultra. Eliot figured that if this was the way to go, it would be just fine with him.

_"STOP!"_

But that wasn't the way he was going to go. Quentin and Eliot looked at the doorway. Fen stood there, breathing heavily. It had taken everything in her to scream that.

"Take me! Take _me,_ not him! Let him go!" Fen begged, tears streaming down her face.

Eliot sneered at Quentin. "Don't you dare lay a hand on her. I will end you right here and now if you do, I can _promise_ you that!" he growled gutturally.

Quentin calculated the cost of either deal. He decided to step forward toward Fen, brushing past Eliot. Enraged, Eliot ran toward him, sword in hand, ready to strike. But he stopped, falling to his knees. He choked back a sob. It wasn't even Quentin's magic holding him back. He was holding himself back. He couldn't bear to kill him. He was a cowardly farm boy.

"A teleportation spell? How pathetic."

Eliot snapped his head up, blinking out a couple tears. No. No no no she wouldn't. But she was. He could hear her chanting under her breath and feel his body lighten.

"Fen, _no!"_ he called out to her, voice completely broken. He tried to stand, but couldn't.

"Don't worry, I won't harm her." Quentin stared back at Eliot's disappearing figure. "I'll take better care of her than you ever did." He smirked.

And that was the last thing Eliot saw before being teleported into the common room. He rushed back to his room, face completely covered by his hands. No one could see him cry. It just was not allowed. He slammed the door behind him and fell onto his bed.

He wasn't delicate. He could be roughed up, chewed up, spit out, and pummeled a few times. It took a lot to break him. Now, with his kingdom laid siege to and his wife and his friend in the hands of a beast, he was finally broken. He had to get back Quentin's shade. But for now, he could cry about it. He felt like he was allowed to.

A knock came at his door. Eliot rose up and stared at the door as if it would do anything. He didn't want anyone to see him at this, his most vulnerable. In his haste to wallow in self pity, he forgot to set up wards on his door.

"Who is it?" he wailed, arm over his eyes.

"Quentin—well, Alice. But mostly Quentin. Qualice, if you will"

The first and the last person he wanted to hear from right now. How nice. And that was such a dumb name. He wasn't calling them that. Eliot found a spare coin in his room and flipped it with his mind. Heads for let him in. Tails for make him go away. It landed on heads, much to his dismay and pleasure. Things were so fucking complicated.

"Come in," Eliot droned quietly, not even sure he could be heard.

If he wasn't, then Quentin, in Alice's body, came in anyway. Every move Alice made reminded Eliot of Quentin's shy steps and the awkward way he held himself. He supposed it was for good reason. It technically was Quentin inhabiting Alice's body. But for the most part, it was still Alice, and she stood above Eliot.

"I really don't mean to bother you, but it's like two in the afternoon. You're crying really early," Quentin noticed.

Eliot removed his arm from his reddened eyes. A spiteful smirk grew on his lips. "You think I want to?"

"Just... tell me what happened." Quentin as Alice shrugged.

"Your shadeless body murdered my entire fucking kingdom!" Eliot yelled harshly. He trailed into disturbingly loud and cackling laughter. "Is that what you wanted to hear today? Because I sure as hell didn't!"

The person in front of him—he couldn't even tell if it was more Quentin or Alice anymore—furrowed their brow. "Well, don't blame me..."

Eliot sneered and slid down his bed into the floor. "I don't blame you. I can't blame you. You're too perfect to blame. You were just doing what you thought was right. Honestly? It's my fault for killing that fucking monster. If I didn't use that stupid gun, none of this would've happened. We would've restored magic, Alice would leave Brakebills a new and undisturbed person, I would rule Fillory alongside Margo, and maybe there'd be a happy ending for Kady and Penny too."

"You sound like you need a drink. I don't want you to blame yourself either." That was definitely completely Quentin.

"Q, can I say something?" Eliot felt his feelings start to bubble up in his throat. Here it came. If he escaped the room without throwing everything up including but not limited to the wet dreams, then it would be the new eighth wonder of the world. "Q... I tried to kill your shadeless body. You were coming for Fen and I didn't know what to do."

Quentin smirked and looked away for a second. "Hey, that's fine. I get it. Just try... not to, y'know? I'm okay with Alice, but I'd like my body back."

"No, that's not it." Eliot felt himself nearly wretch. "I'm trying to talk about why I couldn't do it."

"Because we're friends?"

"No." Eliot rolled his eyes. He didn't even know why he was laying on the floor and talking to this dumbass. This was so stupid. "Q, I like you more than just friends."

"Soulfriends?"

Eliot propped himself up on his bed and sighed, his back to Quentin. "If you weren't in that body, I would..." He groaned and turned around, ashamed that had even left his lips. "Q, I love you. Love you like that. Like, in the way of 'I want to kiss you everyday and maybe suck you off a bit.'" Eliot covered his cheeks which he could feel become hotter with every word he said.

"So you wanted to go down on the shadeless version of me and that's why you couldn't kill me?" Quentin asked, completely oblivious and confused. "I mean, I guess he would be pretty stoic which is hot in its own right—you pull it off pretty well—wait—I mean—“

Eliot grabbed Alice by the shoulders and kissed her deeply—which is to say, he kissed Quentin deeply. He had forgotten her in the moment. Quentin pressed so tightly against him, truly wanting him, hand even tangling in Eliot's mess of black curls. When they suddenly broke apart, he knew it was purely Alice.

"What the hell!" Alice shrieked. "I'm here too, you know!"

Eliot gave a slight sneer and straightened himself back up. "Yeah. I know," he muttered. "I'm going to get a drink," he announced, walking out of the room and slamming the door behind him louder than the first time. Here lies the cowardly farm boy who was finally able to kiss his crush. Eliot was leaving that behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo can we get a comm my dudes lmao *finger guns*
> 
> But seriously thanks for the kudos I honestly thought this fic would fly completely under the radar XD


	6. Advanced Gourd

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk what i was gonna name it before now but im so happy w this title
> 
> Also warning now :0! There’s a scene that isn’t explicit but might toe the line between T and M?? So just look out for that at the end of the chapter. 
> 
>  
> 
> idk maybe you were looking for that
> 
> kudos to you fam

"I forgot how good coffee was."

Marina smiled into her next sip. "You just have to know where to go, honestly. But sometimes I think it's better to make it yourself." She clinked cups with Julia. Tracing the rim of her mug, Marina patiently waited for Julia to speak again.

Julia had just finished explaining her encounter with Quentin in the alleyway. Marina advised her to calm down with a cuppa joe, but admittedly, Julia was doing pretty well with the stress of the situation on her own. A good hazelnut brew with a dash of cinnamon and sugar did help though. She still didn't know how she lucked into having Marina without all the emotional baggage. Back when Marina-40 was alive, there had been so many obstacles in the way of what the both of them really wanted. Not to mention all the traumas. And Julia knew Marina returned the pining despite the walls(or wards, if you will) she put up around herself. When Marina liked someone, it seemed to be really obvious. Marina looked at her every chance she got. There were so many times they almost kissed that

"Hey, can I try something?" Julia asked, looking up from her cup. She set it down on the coffee table in front of them, eyes never leaving Marina’s.

Marina smiled with a slight tilt of her head. "Yeah. What's up?"

Though it wasn't exactly consent, Julia took the yes and went with it, hesitantly placing a hand on Marina's shoulder and trying her hardest to go for the lips, but only lightly pecking Marina's cheek. Julia put her reddened face in her hands, worried of Marina's reaction. Up until now, affection was an underlying subtext. Boundaries might have been toed, but certainly not even near reached.

"Uh..." Marina grinned bemusedly. "You kissed me..."

Julia nodded. That was indeed what happened.

"And that's the area you went for?" Marina cackled.

Having quickly removed her hands from her face, Julia blinked in surprise. "What?"

"Here, can I try?" Marina set her cup down.

Julia jerked as she stood up, nearly bumping into the table. "I think I need to go... chase Quentin down! Are you with me?" she asked cheerily.

With a long blink and a sigh, Marina grabbed her cup and stood. She raised her brows at Julia. "You're lucky you're cute." She sipped her coffee and looked out at the bright New York City. "How are you going to find him though? Thought he was hiding or whatever."

"I think I know where to go," Julia assured her.

* * *

 

Though she wasn't technically supposed to be back into Brakebills, it wasn't hard for Julia to teleport in anyway with her newfound godhood. Even without it, the Brakebills security were indifferent to her presence for the most part. She chose the physical kid’s cottage to teleport herself and a very jarred Marina into. Thankfully, there weren't many people around—just Kady, Josh, and Eliot.

Kady rushed over to Julia, throwing her arms around her. Julia hugged her tightly. Marina cleared her throat and the two parted. Josh just stared awkwardly.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were off doing your goddess thing?" Kady snickered.

Julia rolled her eyes. "I have to come see my mortal friends when I can, you know." Her warm smile turned to despair in a matter of mere seconds. She pulled down a lock of her hair as she looked around. "I'm sure you know about Quentin. He hasn't come through here, has he?"

"No, we haven't seen him shadeless since we left Blackspire," Josh said. He pushed his glasses up. "We think Alice knows something since Quentin kind of threw his shade into her."

"Oh _yeah_!" yelled Eliot from the couch, holding up a bottle of brandy. "Alice knows _everything_! Alice is _so_ smart! She has _all_ the _answers_!" he said in a mocking tone. "Give me a fucking break," he muttered before draining the whole bottle and letting out a large moan.

Julia and Josh stared at Eliot with pity. Kady was indifferent and Marina just snickered.

”Where’s Margo?” Julia asked, trying to be considerate. 

Eliot groaned, throwing his head back. “We’re in _such_ a bad fucking place right now. She thinks I’m gonna start hanging out with Alice more than her because I’ve been with her like twice; and I went to Fillory without her; I stole her merlot—it’s a whole ass thing.” He waved the question away. 

Marina smiled small at Julia. "This is your universe's Eliot? I remember him being more flamboyant if not a little bloodier in the face," she said as an aside to Julia, not meant to be heard by anyone else.

Yet, Eliot heard this and tried to stand, but fell into the table, breaking the empty bottle in his hand and breaking the table in half. Josh rushed to prop him up. Eliot took his arm back and sneered at Josh.

"Fuck you guys! I can be smart _and_ flamboyant!" He removed a flask from his back pocket and took a swig. "I think you all are just jealous that I was High King and you all weren't."

Marina half-laughed, half-scoffed. "In my universe, you kicked your own ass by trying to use the Rhinemann Ultra. You couldn't do it and you blew yourself and Margo up. You're still haunting the library over there."

Eliot pointed his flask at her. "If this was a sword, you'd be dead."

Julia shifted toward Marina defensively. "Eliot, do you know anything about Quentin? Shade or shadeless?"

"I know I'm gonna go back to him because anywhere is better than here with you losers!" Eliot yelled. He drunkenly stumbled into the grandfather clock, nearly knocking it to the side. He opened the door and ambled in, slamming the door behind him.

The common room quieted. No one quite knew what to make of the unusually dark scene from Eliot. Then, Alice came down the stairs. The room waited with bated breath for her to breach the bottom. Julia cursed under her breath. Now she knew why she couldn't see Quentin. He was eclipsed by Alice. Now with them so close, she could sense their shades fighting for control. Quentin obviously won as he threw his arms around Julia. They held onto each other for a while.

It was so refreshing to see a completely friendly face. She didn't even see Alice anymore. She could see Quentin completely. Though, the rest of the room still regarded the person as Alice. Seeing Quentin's dopey smile was so much more of a treat than anything Julia could have ever asked for.

Quentin didn't hesitate to go into detail about what had transpired between him and Eliot before Julia had arrived. He explained that he was surprised Eliot could work himself up into such a drunken stupor so quickly, but it _was_ Eliot. Either way, he worried himself to death, having to fight for control with Alice to give chase. It had been a couple hours. Perhaps a couple hours too late. He was speaking so quickly, so hurriedly, so unnatural for Quentin. It was like one of his Fillory rants—that is, incredibly important to him."

"Slow down, champ. We'll rescue your boyfriend all in due time. Let's get a plan before we just burn shit down," Marina cautioned him.

"He's not my boyfriend!" Alice came through at the moment to clarify. "Or Quentin's for that matter! Quentin is... confused about it." Alice crossed her arms and looked away.

"You are becoming a problem," Kady pointed at Alice.

"All I ever wanted to do was forget everything! It's his fault! He made me remember!" Alice screeched. "Why should I help him when he's caused me so much pain?"

Moved by the sudden outburst of emotion, Julia rested a palm on Alice’s cheek. "Alice, if I blessed you to forget everything, would you help us?” She caressed her cheek and let go.

Alice shuffled her feet. She sniffed. "Maybe."

She looked down, pondering over the idea. It seemed like this was something she didn’t even want. But her outlook on magic had been so stressed now. Julia couldn’t blame her from wanting to cut it out of her life altogether. She’d felt the same at one point, but realized soon enough that you couldn’t have the good without the bad, and sometimes the good was worth more than the bad. She supposed the opposite could be true for some. It was a hard choice, and Julia wasn’t even sure she could remove magic for someone. Not that she didn’t have the ability to, but the emotional baggage could be heavy.

Julia remembered all the stress and torment Alice put herself through just to get herself another taste of the ambrosia that was magic. She was so desperate she had to suck it out of a god or whatever monster of the week she managed to find. Like a junkie, she overdosed herself on it. Perhaps what she needed more than a loss of magic altogether was just a small dose. But who was to say Alice wouldn’t hunger for more? It was a very tricky subject. Alice was a very tricky person. 

So, Julia despaired over the girl who had now completely pushed Quentin back down, quelling his sympathies toward Eliot. Marina noticed the fixed way Julia was staring at Alice and grasped her hand, giving it a squeeze. Julia allowed her thumb to brush Marina’s. Magic brought people together. Perhaps Alice just didn’t like the people she was brought to.

"Well, I'm sure Quentin doesn't want to be put in a jar so we're gonna need you to let him take you as a vessel to transfer his shade," Josh informed her.

"Whatever floats your boat." Alice rolled her eyes.

* * *

 

Back in Fillory once again, Eliot found himself exiting out of his bedroom. He took another swig from his flask.

He was The Drunk. He knew it and embraced it. Not like he wanted to be, but it wasn't the worst. At least he wasn't The Bitch like Alice. If he didn't have to see Alice ever again, he'd be thankful. So thankful... but they'd all thank him when he managed to pacify The Beast. He would do it all by himself, and when Quentin's shade would finally be transferred, they'd all have Eliot to thank. They'd think twice about making fun of him. _He_ can get stuff done. _He's_ smarter than Alice. Facts.

And he wasn't just a farm boy. Farm Boy Eliot died a long time ago. As soon as he found out he had magic, he was gone from the life of plowing corn and raising cows. Now he was plowing men and bitching at cows. Farm Boy Eliot wouldn't perform half as well as High King Eliot if he had to take down The Beast. He'd cry until the problem went away or kicked his ass. Whichever came first. High King Eliot was going to head straight into the problem.

He took another swig of what was probably vodka, but he wasn't sure, and swung himself into the throne room. It was still bloody and a little broken, but there were some neat objects scattered about that even the High King didn't recognize coming from Fillory. When he entered, Fen was braiding Quentin's hair. There was an air of hostility about the room, and Fen's fingers were working in uncomfortable and reluctant movements. Eliot slumped slightly. Fen used to braid his hair. He never realized he missed that until now.

Quentin picked up on the fact that he had a visitor quickly, but chose to remain on his throne. He pressed his fingers together. Blue and gold coursed through his dangerous eyes.

"Back for round two?" Quentin teased.

Eliot pointed at him with his open flask, spilling the liquor out onto the floor. "Yes!" he answered confidently and with a fake heroic voice. He ignored the mess of red on the floor.

Quentin held up a hand for Fen to stop. She successfully made one braid which Eliot snickered at. The petite pink ribbon was too much. Quentin materialized a large and heavy-looking longsword which he had no problem holding with one hand. "If it's a duel you're looking for with that flask, then I suppose it might be funny to humor you."

"Advanced gourd!" Eliot slurred. He dropped the flask.

Quentin charged a completely unarmed Eliot, but the drunken man just stood in his place, arm still outstretched. Quentin drew his sword back, ready to swing, but just as he became a second away, Eliot  pulled his face into his. The sword fell to the ground with an echoing clang. Eliot pushed harder, sliding his hands down until he ended up digging his hands into Quentin's hips. He didn’t need to pull anymore as Quentin began to return the favor, not even subtly grasping Eliot’s ass. Either he wasn’t quite the emotionless beast Eliot had taken him for, or he was carrying a shiv in his pants. Eliot tugged hard on the kiss, putting more force into it than he had with the shaded Quentin. He felt no fear of being judged, and _almost_ felt reciprocated for once.

When Quentin finally pulled away, he swept around to pick his sword back up, holding the tip to Eliot’s throat. _Of_ _fucking_ _course_.

"Oh come on. This isn't even sexy anymore. I'm legitimately frightened now," Eliot admitted with a scared titter. 

Quentin winced and seethed. His gaze trailed out into the darkness of the hallway. "I can't kill you. I'm not sure why, but—"

"Because you're the peach to my plum," Eliot answered, wistfully gazing into Quentin’s eyes.

Quentin scoffed as if he couldn’t believe he was saddled with this. "I can't kill you even without my shade. It’s like...” Quentin mumbled something incoherent as he tried to think of something explain himself. “It’s like there’s an inherent list in my head of people that I can’t even lay a hand on—and you know it really sucks that you’re one of those people because I’d really like to keep the throne to myself.”

”Have it.”

The sword lowered for a moment. But just like that, it was poking into Eliot’s fragile skin again. “Is this a joke?”

Hands up, Eliot shook his head as much as he could allow without his neck being slit. “Just take it. I can’t kill you either. It’s a stalemate. We’re in check.” 

“‘Check’...” Quentin repeated as if it was a brilliant metaphor. “Kings in check.”

Eliot closed his eyes and laughed drunkenly. "Whatever butters your toast."

A devilish smile completely unbecoming of Quentin grew on his lips which he pressed into Eliot’s. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ships that really butter my toast for those wondering:  
> -queliot(!!!never thought they'd get together but kept some faith after _that_ episode)  
> -wiski(!!!!!!!!!shipped since the very beginning!!!!was very happy w the mention in 23!!!)  
> -wickoff  
> -penny/kady  
> -quelia  
> -alice/some help  
> -quenfen bc why not


	7. The Final Mothment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At first it was kind of rushed, but I’ve been adding small pieces over time. Let’s see how it’s all panned out!

"Is this really what you want?" Quentin asked Alice in the mirror. "To forget everyone?" he squeaked.

"Yes, Quentin. Isn’t it obvious?" Alice snapped.

Quentin put Alice's hands on her face. "I just don't...” Words were failing him at the moment. “...get it."

"What's there to get? How can I go back to a life of magic when I know how much it’s hurt me? My family and friends are all either dead or hate me!” Alice barked at her false reflection.

"I don't know... I mean, maybe you could just... keep your identity and just leave us. If that's what you want. I think it'd really suck if you forgot us completely. We had good moments, didn't we? I didn’t hate you.” Quentin sighed. He rubbed his arm. 

"Yeah, that moment when I walked in on you sucking Eliot's dick and letting Margo eat your ass like it was cake was such a good moment. You really liked me when you did that. Oh, let's not forget the moment when I begged you not to give me back my shade but YOU DID IT ANYWAY!" Alice screamed. 

She huffed and sat on her footrest. She stirred herself to cry but found nothing but empty and dry eye sockets. Her thoughts weren't even her own anymore. She belonged to magic. She was a slave to it. She came to terms long ago that she would never escape its clutches. It just stung to hear someone else try to condescend to her.

Her arms wrapped around herself. She looked around, verifying that she was as alone as she could possibly be in her room.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Hugging you," Quentin answered.

She breathed a laugh. "You're so stupid, Quentin Coldwater," she said fondly. "I'd hate to forget that."

* * *

 

"Are you sure you can handle this?" Julia asked Marina who was helping herself to a concoction of mixed drinks that Eliot had made a long time ago. It aged pretty finely.

Marina rolled her shoulders. "Hell yeah. I might be mortal but I might come in handy." She took a long drink from the wine glass and wiped her mouth with her thumb. "That idiot really knows how to make a drink, damn," she breathed.

Julia took a deep breath herself. "I value you as more than a mortal. My godhood hasn't changed anything."

"I know you have a crush on me," Marina declared. She started doing stretches to warm herself up. "Kind of obvious from the start. I don’t know what your Marina was like, but she was probably just as cool as me. And... you’re pretty cute yourself. About like my old Julia. I'm just saying that I reciprocate it, and that I'm willing to go the distance for you."

Julia brought her into a hug. "Thanks."

Marina snorted. "Thank me later."

* * *

 

Margo watched Kady pace the floor. She was starting to get impatient and restless herself as she sat on the couch by the grandfather clock.

"Are you sure you don't want me to go with you guys?" Margo asked.

"I cant believe I've had to say this five times already, but for the umpteenth time, Margo, you are a primary target. Quentin took the role of High King. How do you think he's going to react when you, The real High King, strut into the throne room?" Kady argued.

"Wouldn't Alice be more of a target?" Margo pointed out.

"Yeah, well I'm not interested in losing three friends today!" Kady burst out. She sat down on the couch beside Margo and crossed her arms. "You know what? If you're not going, I won't."

Margo raised a brow. "Thanks for taking one for the team—except the part where you're not."

"I don't need sass right now." Kady held up a hand. "If I wanted sass, I'd track down Eliot."

"Eliot is more ass than sass. I'm the Queen when it comes to sass. Or king, as it were," Margo said, examining her nails.

Kady took a quick glance down at the fresh coat. "New color, huh?"

Margo squinted. "You noticed?"

"No!" Kady scoffed. "Lucky guess."

"Yeah, high strung needs to keep it here," Margo decided after Kady's outburst. She eyed Josh pretending a stick was a sword. "He's not going to do anybody any favors either, clearly."

* * *

 

The grandfather clock dropped Julia, Marina, and Alice/Quentin off in the hall all the way across from the throne room. It would've been sudden death to teleport straight in there. The clock knew where was best to drop them off.

Julia led the party. If there were any attacks, she would've rather been the one to take the blow. She would never forgive herself if Marina or Alice took a hit for her. Alice would stay behind them until they were ready to transfer the shade. If Quentin saw her too early, the plan might fail.

The three steadily approached the throne room, bracing themselves for any traps or wards. When there were none, Julia stopped the other girls just outside the seemingly nonexistent threat of the throne room. This wasn't good. Quentin was being too cocky. He was just sitting on his throne with Eliot and Fen to either side of him. His face was covered in a swarm of moths and a crown was placed atop his head. The wall would be let down for her no longer, it seemed. The other two in the room were thoroughly brainwashed. It wasn't hard to see the golden glimmer in their irises. Julia felt a cold wind blow through her. The atmosphere chilled.

"Julia. Pleasure to see you again," Quentin greeted her.

”I’m truly sorry I can’t say the same,” Julia replied coldly.

With the moths surrounding his face, it was hard to see his expression. He laid an offended hand on his chest. He leaned back and crossed his legs, awaiting the next move. The three in front of him were no threat to a man who drank from the Wellspring and then, brought siege and total annihilation to Fillory.

Though Julia may have been level headed, she silently cursed herself for bringing Marina along as the redhead stood in front of her. She didn’t need protection. Marina was acting on her own. But Julia still grasped her wrist.

”What are you doing?” she whispered harshly.

Marina just stared daggers back at her. She knew exactly what she was doing. In her own universe, she couldn’t even look at the Beast. Now, given the opportunity again, she felt it only necessary that she try to kill him. Julia retracted her hand and prepared herself for the worst. She would pull Marina out of the fray if she gor hurt or got close to killing Quentin.

With all the confidence in the world, as she prepared a battle magic spell, Marina walked right up to the throne. Something made her suddenly stop. But it wasn’t anyone in the room. It was fear, plain and simple. Quentin had leaned forward in his throne. Marina was petrified.

”Do you even know my name, hedge witch?” Quentin’s voice was deep with a cold fury surging through it. He obviously didn’t appreciate this little assassination attempt.

“Quen... water... I—“ Marina shook her head, stammering to get his name out. Her hands dropped to her sides. He was doing more than staring her down. Now he was really getting in her head. 

“Quentin, stop!” Julia shouted. 

Quentin lolled his head to the side. “Say my name,” he commanded Marina.

She tried her best to clear her throat. She blinked a few times, cringing. It was like Voldemort—you just never said it. She finally swallowed and said, “Quentin Coldwater.” 

”You’re goddamn right,” Quentin relished.

With a sharp and detached laugh, he threw Marina all the way back against Julia, knocking the both of them down.

Doing her best to pull herself and Marina up, Julia took her to the side, accidentally revealing Alice in the process. Alice, stunned, just stared at Julia, fearing the damage that could now be done.

Quentin removed himself from the throne. That simple action was enough to make the trio shudder. Quentin pointed an accusatory finger at Alice. "You! You have my shade!" he noticed.

Alice made to run away, but Marina took her by the arm, not allowing her to get away.

"You all know as well as I that I cannot allow that shade to reunite with me," Quentin laughed without humor. "You'll get it into me over my dead body."

With a snap of his fingers, Eliot and Fen left their thrones to attack. Marina could get out no more than a gasp when she noticed the slice across her chest that Eliot had quickly created with such quick hand motions. Fen was nothing to scoff at as she tackled Alice to the ground, and with a few motions, probably learned from Eliot, stunned her.

For the first time in a long time, Julia felt herself stifled with rage. She couldn't move herself to take down Eliot or Fen, but she didn't see herself being in any danger. She shook no longer in the face of the despicable. If anyone should've been quaking, it was the Beast in front of her.

"Where's Persephone now, Jules?" Quentin chuckled as he arrogantly stepped toward her, hands carelessly shoved in his pockets. "Where's your mommy figure to save you?"

Julia clenched her fists as well as her teeth. " _You_ don't get to call me 'Jules'," she growled through her teeth.

She knew how this ended before. She couldn't give him her shade. Last time, he killed himself. She wouldn't watch her best friend die again. The only way to solve this was to get Quentin's shade back into Quentin. Nothing else would be compatible.

Quentin stood right in front of her. She could hear the moths flapping. It was almost all she could think about now. His harsh breathing was a close second. He drew a long breath as he prepped himself to speak. Julia prepared herself to listen.

"Now, I understand that this might seem weird, but I'm proposing a deal. Let's say you let me go without a fight and I do the same for you. I might even bring the redhead back. That's what you get out of the deal. What do I get? Well, I get your world. I'd like to remake it in Fillory's image but without all the silly add-ons that Umber made. Win win." Quentin hummed happily.

Julia slowly tilted her head sarcastically. "And why would I accept that?"

"I'm your best friend. You want to make me happy," Quentin grumbled.

"I want to make _Quentin_ happy," Julia pointed out.

"And I'm _not_ Quentin?" The Beast roared.

"No. He is." Julia pointed behind her.

The Beast took his attention off Julia to look over Fen. She was adjusting to this new shade, but was adapting quicker than Alice did. She blindly ran toward the Beast, not knowing what she was getting herself into. The Beast made to slice her in half, but was tackled into the wall almost immediately. The surprise attacker was Eliot.

"I told you if you laid a hand on her that you'd be dead where you stood, and now she's carrying precious cargo," Eliot said without thinking. He squinted. "Not that kind. I mean, probably not that kind. We haven't fucked in months." He looked back at Fen, confused. "Hey, are you pregnant?" She said nothing but did give him a strange look.

The moths dispersed from their flock, revealing Quentin's face. His eyes shone blue and wavered, face worried and scared. He breathed in and out, panicked. He gulped. 

"Think about what you're missing out on, El'. Those three years you spent yearning for me. You finally have me where you want me and you're going to give it up?" Quentin laughed harshly.

Eliot scoffed at his bargaining chip. "Honestly, for a bottom, you're really stiff. It was like fucking a cardboard box, but even _that's_ less soulless than you. And not to be picky, but the real Quentin is a top."

"El', _please._ Please don't kill me. I don't want to die," Quentin cried. 

"You think I'm really going to kill the peach to my plum? I'm just trying to help, Q," he mumbled softly. His grip on Quentin loosened.

"If you put that shade back into me, I might never be the same. Once you separate the body and the shade, it's hard to get reacquainted. Look at Alice. She used to love me, but now..." Quentin sighed dismally. "Now look at her. She’ll never be the same again."

Eliot furrowed his brow. He didn't want that for Quentin. For them. He let him go and backed up.

Quentin smiled with a cocked head. "Now there's a good little farm boy." His eyes gleamed golden. Moths swarmed around his face. “But the kiddie gloves are off. You're no longer useful to me. I might not be able to kill you, but I can sure as hell try." He raised his hands, lit like torches.

But whatever he was about to do was stopped. He groaned as Fen pressed his shade back into his body. She stepped back carefully. The magic discharge was great, sweeping everyone off their feet except Julia, who knelt down to console her shaking friend. The moths crumbled into dust around Quentin.

Eliot sat up and massaged his temples. He rushed to Quentin's side as soon as he regained his sense of the world. Alice crept away, and Fen stood faithfully beside Eliot. Marina remained dead.

Not for long though. Eliot took over Julia's position, allowing for Julia to brush a ginger strand of hair from Marina's head and lock lips with her. The bleeding wound was sealed and Marina gasped deeply once Julia rose up, a euphoric expression on her face. They kissed again just as deeply.

"Wow. You might not be CPR certified, but you definitely look CPR satisfied," Eliot quipped, taking notice of Julia's sudden happiness.

After a minute of silence, Eliot managed to pull Quentin up to at least a kneeling position. He pressed his forehead against Quentin's, hands precariously cupping his chin. Quentin returned the gesture. He swore when he opened his eyes that he had never seen Quentin smile so satisfactorily.

"How did you manage all that?" Eliot asked, breath taken.

Quentin smirked. "Trade secret."

"Just tell me," Eliot rolled his eyes and snickered.

"It's all about distraction. Performing what you think is the magic trick, and disguising your true intent," Quentin explained. Suddenly, he pointed at the throne. "Hey, look over there!"

Eliot turned his gaze over to the throne which appeared barren and unimportant. Meanwhile, Quentin utilized what he learned from Margo, giving Eliot a tiger kiss. Eliot widened his eyes at Quentin.

Flustered, Eliot stammered until he could finally get a word in. "Hey!” He lowered his voice, “As much as I would love throne room sex, I'm not interested in onlookers. There's a bedroom just across the hall."

"Then let's go!" Quentin pulled Eliot up to a standing position.

Giving a coy look to Quentin and a subtle bite of his lip, he showed himself into the bedroom. Though he wanted to join him, Quentin felt the need to stay behind for a few minutes if not for just a moment. There were still some loose ends.

Quentin walked over to and knelt beside an Alice who had completely given up. She sat up to glare at him. He couldn't help but smile at her. She gave up her frown.

"Hey, you know whatever route you choose—memory or none—I'm here for you," Quentin soothed her. "And I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused you."

Alice nodded. She brought her knees to her chest as he stood up to leave. "Hey, Q!" she called for him. He turned around. "I'm sorry... for everything too. It was nice to be close to you again," she mumbled.

Quentin grinned and left her to herself. He gave Julia and a none too pleased Marina a quick hug. He then headed for the bedroom to see the man he was so willing go through all of this for.

And he would do it again for him or for anyone, given the chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof I realized a few mistakes I made during this lol like how the clock works XD and maybe a couple character issues. But hey that’s what happens when you write something in just one day lmao let this be a warning XD
> 
> so that's the end. if anyone wants like an epilogue or anything im down to write it
> 
> or like, a random continuation of this au idk really lmao im out of juice after this i wrote it all in one day and it shows
> 
> also can I just say that originally I really wanted to make this PWP queliot but I’m such a plot nut that I couldn’t let myself lmao I mean, i guess I can say now that it’s over XD lol hope you enjoyed reading this more than that discarded idea lmao thanks for all the kudos! :3


End file.
